The Mental Health Edition
Life happens in seasons
I used to remind myself that without my health, I have nothing. I’ve now expanded that to, without my physical and mental health, I have nothing.
I wake up at 4am Monday. This month’s Future You is semi-written. I have struggled my way through the past week, trying to weave together the themes floating around in my head - enough, energy, alignment - but it feels fragmented - ok at best.
But I don’t want to publish ‘ok’. There is a (somewhat annoying) voice in my head that keeps prodding me to write the other piece. The raw, messy - it might not be pretty, but it feels more meaningful - one. At 4:52, I give up on the possibility of further sleep and give in to the voice. Here goes nothing.
The truth is, I struggled my way through September, too. It wasn’t anything in particular. I have a very good life (as my partner constantly reminds me). But I had taken on too much at work and, after a summer of juggling the high workload with travel, it all came crashing down - thankfully, not literally.
This Friday is World Mental Health Day. A subject close to my heart and one I care deeply about championing (see opening statement). And, while it’s heartening that awareness of mental health has never been higher, it can still be an incredibly isolating experience.
With so much going on in the world, it’s easy to feel like we aren’t allowed to experience low moods or feel negative. Someone, undoubtedly, will always have far greater challenges than we do. We should be grateful! Put things in perspective! See the better side!
But this thinking isn’t helpful and only serves to make us feel worse. Not only do we not feel overly positive, but now we’re ‘bad’ people too, who aren’t grateful for all the good in our lives. Sheeesh.
And while I’m a big believer in mindset, denying your feelings isn’t a fast track to positivity.
The overarching message of the three themes I was desperately trying to merge is protecting your mental health. So, in the spirit of not denying feelings, this month I’m sharing some strategies that have helped lift my spirits during times when my mood was bumping along the bottom.
But, before we begin…
A quick disclaimer: This article shares thoughts and ideas only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are concerned that you are developing a mental health problem, you should seek the advice and support of your GP as a matter of priority. Here’s how to get help in the UK and Australia.
Enough
It’s often the overwhelm that comes first.
Somewhat ironically, I spent August researching high-investment (read: expensive and time-consuming) courses I wanted to commit to and mapping out how I would maximise my H2. Even more ironically, it was reading Anna Mackenzie’s article when I realised that I too had f*cked up.
I had, not unusually for me, overcommitted myself. I could have just kept my damn hand down, not felt the need to jump in and be a part of every solution. But alas, I am someone who associates ‘yes’ with opportunities, a do-it-all, if you will. The problem was that the opportunities weren’t coming as I had planned, which left me struggling to see a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.
This is the part where it’s tempting to dissect how much I have on my dance card and compare that to others. I could make myself feel even worse by pointing out all the ways that other people are coping with, or juggling and achieving more.
But this isn’t a helpful strategy when you’re already feeling overwhelmed.
What is a helpful strategy is to say (or shout) ENOUGH. Step away from the sign-up button. Do not even think about saying one more ‘yes’ to life.
Instead, take a step back and look at what you’ve committed yourself to. Is there anything you can easily remove?
Most of the time, many things that appear to be commitments are actually self-imposed standards that we can adjust without too much impact. Sadly, sometimes there’s no obvious choice that we can easily wiggle our way out of. The key here being easily. The reality is, we can always decide something is no longer right for us and end things. It might not be easy, but it is possible.
The bad news is, it usually requires some hard choices and conversations. This was the case for me. I didn’t feel comfortable backing out of the projects I had put my hand up for - it felt wrong to quit. And so I had to manage expectations, clarify how much I could work on at one time, and what I could deliver by when.
It is better to do a few things well than many badly. Dividing your energy and attention will only leave you feeling frazzled, scattered and burnt out. Get clear on what enough looks like when it comes to your time and remove the rest. If Matthew McConaughey can do it, so can you.
Energy
I have two types of days at the moment. The first involves staying out of bed when my alarm goes off at 6am, calmly starting the day with my morning routine before work, allowing me to fit in exercise later in the day, cook dinner after work, and get to bed at a reasonable time. The other features staying in bed, trying to cram in as much of my morning routine as possible (writing goes out the window), spending most of the day on the back foot, finishing work too exhausted to muster up the motivation to exercise, before collapsing into bed later than planned. I’ll leave it to you to figure out which I prefer.
There may be the same number of hours in each day, but not all days are created equal. One of the key takeaways from I Didn’t Do the Thing Today (perhaps my favourite book on productivity so far), it also serves to highlight the importance of managing your energy, rather than your time.
You can micromanage your day down to the minute, but if you didn’t sleep well or are distracted by worrying thoughts, it’s highly unlikely you will achieve what you will on a day where you have less time, but wake up feeling refreshed and focused. This is because our output is based less on the time available and more on our energy levels.
Not one for abstract advice, the first step is awareness. You need to understand what impacts your energy - both physically and mentally. For the past year, I’ve tracked this as part of my weekly check-in, using a simple two-column ‘gives energy’ and ‘takes energy’ format and categorising insights from my week under each. It’s often similar themes that keep coming up, and, after a few weeks, you can start to spot patterns in what gives you energy and what drains your energy (yes, that includes people, too)!
You could also keep this as a running list. Whichever way you choose, tracking helps bring awareness to how you function and what supports your wellbeing. By identifying insights, you develop a deeper understanding of what drains you and what restores you, so you can minimise column A and do more of column B. More energy = more time for what’s important.
One day at a time
When you’re overwhelmed, the tendency is to be future-focused. Thinking longer-term, uncertain about how it will turn out, and worrying about the ways in which it could all go wrong. So helpful.
A kinder and more practical approach is to take a step back and focus on one.day.at.a.time. Don’t get me wrong, as an over-organiser, I’m all for planning. But sometimes we only have the capacity to put one foot in front of another, and that’s ok too. When you’re struggling to find the light at the end of the tunnel or see how things will get brighter, what can feel more manageable is aiming for one slightly better day. Then another. After all, life is ultimately made up of moments and days.
Alignment
People can spin themselves into an existential crisis over purpose. Trying to figure out the meaning of life, what they were put on this earth to do, that no one else can contribute. I should know - I am that person.
All jokes aside, this quest isn’t something other mammals contend with. Seemingly content on living well, I recently learnt the French word for this approach to life: Profiter de la vie.
Lately, I’ve been thinking that living in alignment may be a more achievable and worthy pursuit than purpose. Simply aligning our behaviours and actions to our values and principles can make for a meaningful life. Not to mention the world around us.
Nature is a great reminder that life happens in seasons.
A reminder that most other creatures don’t need, but one that we humans tend to forget in our always-on, technology-riddled world. As the saying goes, “nothing in nature blooms all year.” So why should we insist this of ourselves?
It’s Autumn in the Northern Hemisphere. And, as the leaves begin to fall, it’s a poignant reminder to let go. I usually embrace this time of year - between the vibrant colours, crisp blue skies, and all of the art that descends on London - it’s one of my favourite months in the city. But this year I’ve struggled.
Recently, I went to a Re:Mind workshop for the Autumn equinox. Our teacher shared that in Traditional Chinese Medicine, Summer represents ‘Yang’ energy - active, expansive and outward - to align with the sun’s power.
But Yang necessitates Yin to help balance it out. While Winter is the peak Yin season - with a focus on retreating inward, resting, and conserving energy - it’s important to transition between these two opposing energies.
Regardless of which hemisphere you’re in, a change in season invites us to reflect. On where we’ve been, what we’ve learned, and what we might need next. Without this reflection, our emotions stay muddled beneath the surface.
As we enter the final quarter of 2025, there is no better time to dig out those hopes and dreams from January 1 and realign your energy towards them. It is never too late to recentre yourself on what matters and take a step in the right direction. No matter how small, any progress is still progress.
PONDER:
“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.” – Albert Camus
Part of life, and being human, is experiencing times when we feel down or negative. One of the kindest things we can do is to recognise and accept our feelings and share them with someone we trust.
Far from a sign of weakness, asking for help takes courage and strength. Not only does simply having a safe space to share often make us feel better. But our challenges are also frequently understood and shared by others, leaving us feeling less isolated. Whether it’s a compassionate partner who reassures you that you’ll figure it out together, or a friend who reminds you not to quit on your worst day - when it comes to mental health, we’re all in this together.
On that note, why not check in on a loved one, family member, friend or colleague? Maybe they could also find this month’s thoughts helpful.
SJ
Thank you for sharing, and for being so vulnerable 🫶 I feel like you perfectly described how I have been feeling (and the things that I have been trying to do).