Spirituality
From head to heart
“I just want to feel at peace and be able to enjoy my life.”
Recently, I was talking with a friend who’s been having a tough time at work, so much so that it’s started to impinge on other areas of their life. A sentiment that many of us can relate to at some point, I empathised with them.
In the end, above all else, what most of us desire is peace. But in the world we live in, peace has only become more elusive. And the irony is, the harder you push for it, the more it evades you.
When I look back on my life, the moments I have truly felt a sense of peace are linked to spirituality - more specifically, when I have surrendered my illusion of control and put my faith in a higher power. Choosing to believe that everything happens for a reason and is part of a greater plan.
A theme echoed by so many of my most admired authors, it seems that more and more of us are returning to spirituality. And for good reason, too. Now more than ever, we need something to believe in - a source of lightness and hope, against an ever-darkening backdrop. A way to continue to say yes to life, in spite of everything.
While there is no shortcut to peace, surrender through spirituality is the shortest path most of us have found.
READ: All The Way to the River
Late last year, Elizabeth Gilbert released her latest memoir. Almost 20 years on from Eat, Pray, Love - if you’re expecting another uplifting round-the-world spiritual awakening, this isn’t it. Where Eat, Pray, Love has an aura of lightness and hope, All the Way to the River carries the weight of the world.
But it couldn’t have been any other way. Recounting her relationship with Rayya Elias - from hairdresser, to best friend, to the love of her life - as Liz has consistently said, she did not want to write this book. And who can blame her? The course of true love never did run smooth, especially not when it includes a history of addiction and a terminal cancer diagnosis. From the highest highs to the lowest lows, one minute you’re riding the wave and the next you’ve been sucked under, spat out and are left gasping for air, wondering what the hell just happened and how you ended up here. Who would willingly choose to rehash a time which brought out the worst in them and broadcast it to the world?
Last month, I went to see Elizabeth Gilbert speak in London, as part of her book tour for All the Way to the River. She shared with us how hard she had tried to avoid writing this book - first by writing another book, then by attempting to package it up as poetry or fiction. But, as a steward of creativity, the Creator would not leave her alone until she did this story justice.
A tale of love, loss, and liberation - to me, All the Way to the River is about truth, honesty and spirituality. Common themes running through many of the books I have read lately, another similarity is how many of these authors reference their experience with 12-step recovery programs. Based on principles applicable to life in general, the second step is to put your faith in a higher power.
The older I get, the more I see that it’s not always possible to find meaning in an experience or neatly package a story up into a moral. Instead, as Liz learns, liberation comes through surrender. As the well-known serenity prayer goes, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
SPEAK: Your truth
Part of Rayya Elias’ legacy is her mantra, “The truth has legs. It’s the only thing that will be left standing in the end.” A piece of wisdom that remained long after Rayya had left this world, Liz highlighted this as a pivotal part of both her memoir and book tour.
Not only is this sage advice, but it’s also a cultural shift I’m sensing. People are sick of censoring themselves. The more you filter yourself, the less authentic you become. At their essence, many stories tell a similar tale: unravelling conditioning to reconnect with your authentic self.
One of the more profound books I have read on this topic, Glennon Doyle’s Untamed, rallies for the importance of honouring your one self, prompting the reader to continually pursue: what is the truest, most beautiful life you can imagine?
It is difficult, if not impossible, to maintain multiple versions of yourself without losing your authenticity in the process. While we all know lying is wrong, many of us have been raised to keep the peace - to maintain appearances, be polite and appease others. But too often this can be at the expense of our own needs and the truth.
Articulating our truth is one of the most important skills we can master. Confusion, mixed messages and inauthenticity aren’t kind and only do everyone a disservice. The thing about the truth is, sometimes it may hurt, but it also has the power to set you free.
WRITE: For Guidance
As a big fan of Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, when I discovered she had recently released a daily version, it was a no-brainer to add to my page-a-day morning reading pile.
For the uninitiated, The Artist’s Way is a twelve-week guide to reconnect with what lights you up and live a more creative life. Credited for shaping the lives of millions, my experience was no different - it was The Artist’s Way that inspired me to put pen to paper and start writing again.
Cameron’s work is founded on four basic tools. Devoted to my morning pages and weekly artist dates, I was already familiar with a few of these. However, since reading The Daily Artist’s Way this year, I have introduced a new Saturday routine: writing for guidance.
An invitation to tune into your inner voice, it involves taking the time to sit quietly and allow your intuition to flow onto the page. While I appreciate this may sound a bit woo-woo at first, it’s actually not all that dissimilar to meditation, which is practically mainstream now!
In a world full of noise and distractions, it’s easy to lose touch with our inner voice. Our intuition often knows the answers long before our conscious mind catches up. But it’s also subtle - a quiet whisper that quickly becomes drowned out.
Writing for guidance is a way to slow down, to listen and record the wisdom that emerges when we stop looking for answers outside ourselves. You can either show up to the page with a question or simply open yourself to free-writing whatever wisdom arises. I have found the first approach to be much easier, with half of the fun in collecting prompts that I can pick from each week.
Whichever way you choose, it’s key to use pen and paper, as writing by hand serves as a direct, physical bridge to the inner self, in a way that typing can’t. Above all, trust the process and rest assured your inner guide is always there, ready to offer clarity and direction. As one of the included daily quotes states, “Faith requires following the power of a whisper.” - Shannon L. Alder
Need inspiration? Here are a few of my favourite prompts:
Is this the story you want for yourself? If not, what is?
What’s one thing you’d love to try...but are being held back by fear?
What are you prepared to give up? Often, we want things but aren’t prepared to face the consequences to achieve them.
What am I releasing this month? What new identity do I choose?
What does a good day look like for you?
SHIFT: From head to heart
I am not religious. This is less a conscious choice and more a result of the fact that, so far, no religion has made sense to me in the way that spirituality and philosophy do. A long-term student of Stoicism, more recently, I have expanded my learning to embrace the wisdom of Kabbalah.
Last month, I attended a women’s event, From Head to Heart. In a world that often demands we push, control, overachieve and overthink, the session provided a space to step out of the mind and return to the wisdom of the heart.
Representing a state of doing, the head is strongly linked to analysis, planning, and control. The heart, on the other hand, is a place of will, choice and intention - encompassing not only emotion, but the state of being.
When we live from the head, we are focused on control - pushing and using effort to pursue our goals and desires. Shifting from head to heart means releasing control and replacing it with trust. Moving from effort and strain to create space for flow and allow things to come to us instead.
An important reminder for us all, the shift from head to heart, from doing to being, asks us to stop doing things out of obligation - trying to prove our worth - and start doing things from a place of intention - to embody our worth.
One of the quickest ways I have found to drop back into my heart is to ask myself: What is my intention? Is this worth my energy? What does this do for my soul? A spiritual equivalent of the three gates: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?
DO TRY THIS AT HOME: Peloton Gospel
Peloton may still be struggling to recover since Mr Big’s fictional heart attack plummeted its share price by 11% in 2021, but, bike or no bike, in my humble opinion, the Peloton fitness app remains one of the best on the market.
My weekly go-to for yoga, cycling and kettlebells, my (now not so) secret obsession is their gospel classes. Whether it’s Chelsea Jackson’s yoga flows set to a gospel soundtrack, or Cliff Dwenger’s gospel rides - sometimes complete with a gospel choir in the studio, the power of exercise and gospel music is an experience not to be missed.
Talk about sparking joy! An opportunity to work on both your body and mind, combining the physical benefits of exercise with the spiritual benefits of gospel music, brings together the best of both worlds. Next time you’re looking for a mood booster, I highly recommend giving gospel a go.
CURATED CLICKS:
Another major spark of joy for me was the moment Anne Lamott joined Substack. An incredible writer, she is one of the few people who always find the right words - Hallelujah Anyway is a soothing balm for the soul.
In a similar spirit to writing for guidance, Elizabeth Gilbert’s Substack Letters From Love invites guests and readers to pose a question to love and receive wisdom through writing.
On the topic of saying what you actually want to say, Ava penned this thoughtful piece, claiming nothing will change your life more.
PONDER:
“I am a lover of what is, not because I’m a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality.” - Byron Katie
I hope this instalment of Future You has sparked some inspiration. If so, please do share it with a friend or colleague who could also find it useful.
Easter has always carried a sense of renewal. In Taoism, they teach that all things return to their root - a natural renewal. After a much-needed five days off in Munich, I finally feel this Easter spirit. Regardless of whether you’re religious or worship at the altar of Cadbury, I hope you found your own version of peace, too.
SJ
"Is this the story you want for yourself?" is SUCH a powerful question. I remember you bringing it up in the Build Method and I wrote it down because I loved it so much ❤️