Setting yourself up for success

Willpower won’t get you there

So here we are. July 1. Half of 2025 already retreating in the rearview mirror.

If you are anything like me, the tendency is to dig out that list of lofty goals your New Year, New Me self set, and feel dismayed at all the ways you’re not where you hoped to be. But, before you begin that self-berating spiral, I’d like to suggest an alternative.

There is relief in being wrong. Not when you’re so sure you’re right that you’ve accepted your partner’s bet that the loser pays for dinner. Rather, when you realise that the key to success is so much simpler than the molehill you’ve transformed into a mountain.

Back to those lofty goals, I have long accused myself of self-sabotage, thinking that if I could just have more willpower or motivate myself better, I would finally succeed in achieving them. That is, until I learnt there’s no such thing as self-sabotage and that depending on willpower isn’t a strategy for success.

Sorry, what?

Turns out, all we have are habits. Some of them are helpful and move us towards our goals, and others move us further away from where we want to be. Above all else, our brain is wired to protect consistency - it associates the familiar with safety, even when these coping strategies no longer serve us. This is why making changes to your identity often feels like friction; your brain is literally restructuring how you perceive yourself.

The good news is that the brain’s ability to adapt and rewire means that change is always possible. By bringing awareness to our automatic habits, we can identify the ones that are holding us back and choose to respond in a more helpful way. Lasting change is less about forcing transformation and more about letting your choices gradually rewrite the story you tell yourself about who you are.

As you reflect on where you are midway through the year, rest assured, you don’t need more willpower or a cure for self-sabotage. Instead, success lies in small, consistent acts of intention.

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Motivation isn’t enough

This is where many of us, myself included, go wrong. We focus our energy on trying to motivate ourselves to do something or, as the case may be, muster up the willpower to resist doing something. However, simply wanting to change isn’t always enough. Motivation can come and go. One moment you’re ready to make a shift, the next you’re slipping back into old routines.

The truth is, you don’t need constant motivation to build better habits. To create change without relying on bursts of motivation or willpower, you need to focus on behaviour design - building small, sustainable systems that make the desired choice feel natural and automatic. The easier we can make the helpful choice, the less motivation we need to make it.

Based on BJ Fogg’s Behavior Model, the best strategy for creating new habits and behaviours is to focus on the remaining two elements, our ability and a prompt. By creating a clear cue to prompt us, combined with an easy entry level so that we’re more inclined to begin, even if motivation is low, the behaviour is still likely to happen. The key to success doesn’t require high motivation; it’s all in the simplicity.

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The power of micro-shifts

While it’s common to associate change with dramatic scenes, rock-bottom moments and big breakthroughs, as we discussed back in February’s Future You, while change can be drastic, it often happens in a much more subtle way. The reality is that lasting change usually looks more like one quiet choice repeated over time - as Aristotle pointed out, we are what we repeatedly do.

Enter micro-shifts. The small but mighty way that you can rewire your mind over time. Micro-shifts work by capitalising on neuroplasticity - the brain’s ability to adapt based on what you repeatedly do. While you may not be conscious of it, every thought, feeling, or action activates a neural circuit and the more often you use that circuit, the stronger it becomes. On the flip side, the circuits you don’t use weaken and get pruned away to make space for new neural pathways.

This means that each time you choose to respond in a new way, more aligned with the direction you want to go in, you’re carving new neural trails. Each of these shifts, especially when repeated, sends your brain a powerful message: We can do this differently now. Over time, these pathways strengthen, and what once felt foreign becomes the default.

The research varies as to how many reps and days it takes to form a new neural connection, but the key to micro-shifts is in the name - they need to be small enough to repeat on a regular basis. It’s the ‘micro’ that turns effort into automatic.

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Intention is everything

Here’s the catch. Consistency may be key, but micro-shifts are built on intention. Reactivity doesn’t leave room for conscious choice. It’s only by bringing awareness to your thoughts, feelings, and actions that you open the door to change.

Micro-shifts offer an interruption, a moment to pause and choose a different response, one that supports your long-term goals, rather than your short-term wants. Every time you respond with awareness instead of autopilot, you weaken old habits and strengthen new neural pathways, helping you slowly step into your new identity, with intention, not force.

But intentionality takes energy. Whether from stress, a lack of sleep or too many commitments, when you’re running on empty, your brain shifts into survival mode. Opting for whatever feels easiest in the moment, it stops prioritising your long-term goals and defaults to automatic habits.

Something I see in my own life, this is where the case for managing your energy, rather than your time, becomes key. I can have the perfect plan for a day, but if I’ve gone to bed late or slept badly, and wake up tired, I’m going to struggle to stick to it. By managing my energy, however, I can prioritise breaks, rest and downtime to take a more balanced and sustainable approach, and allow me to make better, more intentional choices throughout the day.

And then there’s your environment. When you align your surroundings with your intentions, you give your brain clear signals and fewer obstacles. By allowing your environment to do some of the work for you, you are, quite literally, setting yourself up for success.

Recently, I tried a new tactic to support my goal of staying out of bed at 6am when my alarm goes off. Something I have been working towards for an embarrassingly long time, I started leaving my facial cleanser next to my alarm. A simple step, it prompts me to wash my face after I switch off my alarm, which wakes me up and reduces the temptation to go back to bed. Hardly rocket science, this is the beauty of setting up your space with intention. By removing friction, you help to reduce decision fatigue, making it easier to make intentional choices aligned with your goals. The moral of the story? Make it obvious!

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How you speak to yourself matters

Unless you’re one of the rare people who has mastered self-compassion and kindness, you’re most likely all too familiar with your inner critic. That negative, judgmental voice that broadcasts doubt, shame and criticism on a continuous loop, hijacking any sense of self-worth and progress.

As someone who struggles to speak to myself as I would a friend, I’ve even tried naming my critic, but nothing can stop Regina George.

That is, until I read about the lesser-known alternative. Enter: your inner coach.

Unlike Regina, who is hard-wired into humans with a focus on fear, your inner coach needs to be cultivated. Activated when we engage our prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for perspective, regulation, and long-term decision-making, the inner coach comes from a place of curiosity rather than condemnation.

The catch is, overwriting Regina with Coach Carter (we’re committed to the millennial Mean Girls references here) isn’t as simple as updating to the latest Apple OS. Rather, accessing your inner coach is a skill that requires practice to strengthen.

We’re not trying to eliminate Regina (not even a bus could do that), but the more we practise self-compassion, the more we train our brain to respond to challenges with care instead of criticism.

Sounds good in theory, harder to put into practice. The trick is to catch the inner critic. To bring awareness to the harsh thought and put it up for review with this reframing practice:

1. Notice the negative and unhelpful thought. Name the feeling behind it.

2. Challenge it: Is it accurate? What evidence is there to support it?

3. Reframe with compassion: Is there a more constructive and kind response to this thought? What can you learn from this experience?

These questions help redirect our focus from self-judgment to provide an opportunity for growth, reinforcing the neural pathways that support resilience, healing, and lasting change.

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Celebrate the small wins

It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of overlooking how far we’ve come. Especially when we’re focused on the next milestone or end-goal. Typical of our inner critic, this way of thinking fails to recognise that progress isn’t always dramatic. More often than not, it has a way of sneaking up on us, only to be seen when we pause to look back. But if we only celebrate the big wins, we miss a key opportunity for growth.

Micro-shifts go hand in hand with small wins. The brain is always learning, and dopamine - the brain’s motivation messenger - is released not just by achieving a goal, but by recognising that you’re on the right path. By appreciating every piece of progress, even the small shifts, you reinforce the neural connections behind it. The more you strengthen these pathways, the more your brain learns that these shifts are part of your updated identity.

I am currently trying to build a daily habit for my writing. Ideally, this means I spend 30 minutes each morning making progress on my writing, but if I only celebrated this, it would be few and far between for June. Rather, even the simple act of showing up to the page is a step in the right direction, and a small vote for the person I want to become.

Any progress is still progress. At the end of the day, it all counts, so give yourself permission to feel proud and celebrate the small wins - after all, it’s good for your growth.

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Antibes (Afternoon Effect), Claude Monet

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PONDER:

“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” - Robert Collier

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I hope this instalment of Future You has sparked some inspiration. If so, please do share it with a friend or colleague who could also find it useful.

As we step into the second half of 2025, remember that success comes down to your choices. Each intentional act becomes proof, sending a powerful message to yourself: this is who I am now. I’ll leave you with a beautiful piece of encouragement I recently read from Artah: Be kind to yourself, let go of 'perfect' and commit to 'possible'.

Here’s to what’s possible,

SJ