From resistance to realignment

Say farewell to force and embrace flow

Oct 29, 2024

October is always a busy month for me. With my anniversary and partner’s birthday one week apart, it turns out that a lot of my friends are Libras and Scorpios too. With this in mind, I had grand plans to be organised for this month’s Future You.

And I was off to a good start. I’d had a topic in mind for months and had even selected and started reading a book to support it. Sadly, when it came to crunch time and I had to sit down and write about it, all that showed up was resistance.

Some people believe you should lean into resistance, but as someone who white-knuckles their way through so much of life, I prefer to keep my writing as something that flows naturally, for the most part. And so, in the vain hope it may present the answer, I took a nap.

Unfortunately, unlike Einstein, I did not awake to some lightbulb moment. Rather, my indecision continued to plague me for the rest of the week, as I continued to try on topics, feeling increasingly frenzied with each one that didn’t feel quite right. The whole process resembled most of my last-minute wardrobe changes - but rather than clothes and shoes, I was surrounded by a jumble of words, thoughts and half-started Google docs.

We’ve all been there - the feeling that if we push harder and keep going, we can break through resistance and reach our goals.

But, like most things in life, resistance is there for a reason. It’s easy to mistake effort for progress however, sometimes, the biggest breakthrough comes not from ploughing ahead, but from pausing to step back and realign.

With just over two months left in 2024, rather than persisting or resisting, now is the perfect time to pause, get some perspective, realign and recommit.

Pause

This time of the year can often feel overwhelming. The countdown is on, and it’s a race against the clock to get everything done before the holiday season. But before we worry about decking the halls, it’s time to clear the decks.

There’s an Oprah quote I love, “When you don’t know what to do, do nothing. Be still.” Chaos and clarity are mutually exclusive events. So before you exert any more energy or charge off in a change of direction, press pause and make time for stillness instead.

November is the perfect reminder to embrace saying ‘no’. For me, after the busyness and outgoings in October, it will be a no(n)-drinking and no-spend month. Regardless of what that means for you, if it’s not a whole-hearted ‘yes’, make it a ‘no’ and free up some time and space for what is important instead.

Get some perspective

Recently, I read an interesting article in HTSI on space tourism. As someone who doesn’t enjoy air travel (the safest mode of transportation in the world), even if I was being paid half a million dollars to go, it would still be a firm no from me.

That said, there is one aspect I find appealing. As many astronauts have shared, the experience of viewing Earth from space gives you an immediate dose of perspective. As Edgar Mitchell explained, “From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a b*tch.”

Of course, it’s not just politics that looks petty and we shouldn’t need to go to space to have perspective. The reality is, that most of the things we worry about, or consider to be a ‘big deal’, are blown out of proportion and, ultimately, pretty insignificant.

The Stoics were a big fan of zooming out for this exact reason. It’s all too easy to get caught up in your thoughts and lose sight of the bigger picture. But by taking ‘Plato’s view’ as Marcus Aurelius referred to it, we can take a step back, put our problems in perspective, and remind ourselves what is actually worthy of our attention and energy.

Realign

If resistance is the feeling of friction or force, then alignment is the opposite. As Greg McKeown shared in a recent 1MW newsletter, “When you are aligned with what’s essential, the effortless path becomes clearer. Tasks start to flow because they connect with what matters most. Instead of pushing against the grain, you find the effortless state.”

So, how do we shift from misalignment to what matters most? One of the quickest ways is to ask yourself if this is still the right path? Just because something was important to us in January, doesn’t mean it’s still a priority now.

Reconnecting to your values is another way to ensure you align your energy and effort with what is most important. A reliable source of guidance when things feel confusing or challenging, if you’re unclear what your top values are, here is an exercise I previously shared for uncovering them.

Recommit

For the past few years, my writing community has run its 100 Days of Writing challenge. I use challenge for want of a better word, but actually, that is exactly what it does. More than two-thirds of the way through the year, it can be tempting to give up on your goals. To write off the remaining months and tell yourself that it’s all downhill from here…high hopes for next year though!

The 100 days concept challenges you to flip this script, and see this time through a glass-half-full lens. To think of the possibilities. To recommit to a goal and finish 2024 on a high note.

As of this Friday, we have two months left in the year. That’s 61 days - enough time to build a good habit or break a bad one. Or to make some serious progress on a goal or project that remains a priority to you.

So, over the next two days, think about all the different things you could achieve in two months. Then choose the one you feel most aligned to and commit to making even the smallest bit of progress on it each day. Not only will you guarantee a strong finish to the year but future you will thank you - one less goal to carry over for next year…

CURATED CLICKS:

Another Pep Talk from poet Maggie Smith, this time on Perspective.
This piece on alignment including a prompt from The Scared Path with Natalie Joanne. I highly recommend subscribing for her weekly pick-a-card posts.
As part of realigning to what is still important, don’t forget to let go of what isn’t.
Ava from Bookbear Express always knows how to articulate complex themes. I particularly enjoyed this article against brute forcing.
Last November I wrote about the problem with expectations and how to prioritise - it complements this month’s topic nicely.

PONDER:

"If you dig a hole and it's in the wrong place, digging it deeper isn't going to help." - Seymour Chwast via James Clear’s 3-2-1 Thursday newsletter

I hope this instalment of Future You has sparked some inspiration. If so, please do share it with a friend or colleague who could also find it useful.

Let me know in the comments below, what you’re choosing to recommit to for the last two months of the year.

Best,