Enough
Step away from the world and see what comes to you in the silence
Few things in life bring me as much joy as hearing people’s reactions to my writing (preferably, positive). And, while this quite possibly makes my life sad, it’s the truth. To learn that my work has been thought-provoking or has resonated with how others are feeling is really all any writer/creative can ask for.
Which is why I couldn’t help but smile when my Dad told me that last month’s Future You had sparked a discussion on the topic of happiness between my parents. I’m unclear how ‘rigorous’ said discussion was however, the verdict was that contentment may be a better state to pursue. As a language and grammar enthusiast (to put it politely) who also happens to be Future You’s biggest fan, when I afforded him a sneak peek of December’s topic, he was underwhelmed, to say the least. Apparently, the theme I had selected wasn’t a ‘word’*. News to me (and the rest of the internet, who have been using it ad-lib lately), I want it on the record that this was not the reason I chose to change this month’s topic last week. Rather, it was a case of history repeating itself.
As this edition wings its way into the world, I will be two weeks into my three-week medical leave for planned ear surgery. I had BIG plans for my time off. Well, not really, but you get what I mean. According to my pre-prepared Notion board, I’d read at least eleven books, list and sell all my old clothes on Vinted, repot the peace lily, speak to all my friends in Australia, watch nine creative interviews I’d missed during the year and KonMari the entire apartment.
True to form, I was wayyyy ahead of myself. Even more alarming than my evident delusion, is the fact that I had a similar surgery in November 2023 and have apparently learnt nothing in the interim two years! Granted, take two was a longer and more complex operation, but what followed wasn’t all too different: in reality, the pain and dizziness saw me rotating between the bed and the couch, counting down until I could take more meds, with my main achievement being completing another multiple seasons of Below Deck Down Under Maxton Hall.
There was nothing for it. I was getting my a*se kicked by the pain and side effects of the codeine, and all I could do was accept my reality and meet myself where I was.
Patience may be a virtue, but it is not one that comes easily to me. Or most of us in today’s world of instant gratification.
BS (Before Surgery) my friend invited me to join her at a Kabbalah workshop. “That’s the thing with the red string that Madonna used to wear”, my sister said. She was not wrong. As a long-term student of Stoicism and a Marketer who probably missed their calling as a Philosophy student, the principles shared that day resonated so much that I’m now enrolled in the level one course (red string to follow).
One of the concepts I find most interesting is tikkune. Translating as ‘correction’, tikkune refers to the unique spiritual and emotional challenges a soul is meant to correct or overcome in this lifetime.
It’s still early days, but so far I have identified my tikkune as impatience, the need for approval and control. The correction? Learning to trust the timing of my life, to accept and work from where I am. And overcoming resistance, to stop limiting myself and have faith in the Universe’s plan for me...wish me luck.
So, in the spirit of patience and acceptance, I have chosen to write from my reality this month**. As we careen towards Christmas and 2026, let’s explore the grammatically correct concept of ‘enough’. Which just so happens to have a lot in common with contentment…
*The not-a-real-word theme I had in mind for this month will be dropping in Jan/Feb instead. Stay tuned…
**In the spirit of meeting myself where I am, there’s no audio this month. I did start attempting a recording, but it was a firm no from my ear.
WORD OF THE MONTH: Lagom
A distinctly Swedish concept, while there’s no direct English translation, lagom roughly means ‘just the right amount’. The Swedish secret to living a balanced life, it encourages moderation and contentment (there’s that word again!).
Lagom doesn’t necessarily equate to doing less, it’s about doing things mindfully and avoiding excess. Whether getting dressed, decorating your home, managing your workload, or social schedule, it’s about finding harmony in everyday life. Not too much, not too little - just enough. Even Goldilocks would approve.
DEFINE: your ‘enough’
Similarly, in the Blue Zones, they are guided by downshifting - the ability to reduce stress and find relaxation in daily life. A lifestyle habit centred around a desire to live a more fulfilling and purposeful life, it can involve changes such as working fewer hours, moving to a more affordable location, or pursuing a new career that aligns with our values and interests.
Seen as a key factor in promotion longevity and overall well-being, by reducing stress and prioritising social connections, downshifting can improve your physical and mental health and increase life expectancy.
We all know stress isn’t good for us. But that doesn’t make it any easier to shake off the chains of capitalism and consumerism and step off the hedonic treadmill.
We have been conditioned to believe that more = better. But this only serves to keep us stuck striving for desires outside our reach, which, even when obtained, will only serve as a springboard for the next possession, title, or pay rise.
Sometimes it’s not about achieving more. As the Stoics remind us, humans can be happy with very little. One of the best ways to break free from the vicious cycle of continually striving for more is to know your ‘enough’. Far from some abstract concept, this is about defining how much money, success, and possessions you need to be content, and then designing your life around that.
Not a small topic to tackle, Tim Duggan does a great job of breaking it down in his book Work Backwards. With a whole section dedicated to money and knowing your enough he also shares the tool to help you get there - the Backwards Budget.
Adapting the principles of a bottom-up budget, a Backwards Budget helps you understand the minimum amount of money you need to earn - be that from a salary, side hustle, investments or any other means - to be satisfied. Defining your ‘enough’ as a number is empowering. Not only does it clearly show you what to aim towards, but it also allows you the freedom to expend only the necessary time and energy to achieve it.
MOVE: How it feels > how it looks
Uno, due, tre, quattro… I can still hear Simone counting as my Mum and I ran around the pool with the bright noodles above our heads.
One of my favourite memories from our trip to the Aeolian Islands, when my Mum suggested aqua aerobics, my first instinct was to turn my nose up - my inner teenager clearly still intact. Thankfully, I quickly remembered I no longer needed to oppose every idea my parents suggested. Which is lucky, because there’s nothing I enjoy more than embracing the opportunity to exercise outdoors while on holiday.
I recently learnt that the treadmill was originally invented by English engineer William Cubbitt in 1817 as a way to punish prisoners! It wasn’t until the 20th century’s jogging revolution that it transitioned to the fitness world. As someone who has always hated the treadmill, I have no further questions.
For many of us, exercise is something we schedule into our days, travelling to a gym or class to work out. However, this approach misses the point that movement is meant to be a natural part of our daily lives. Sadly, in our largely sedentary lifestyles, we have lost touch with the concept of intentional and sustainable movement. A core aspect of living a healthy life, this is one of the four foundations of longevity identified in the Blue Zones.
Forget HIIT classes and highly complex machines, people in Blue Zones prioritise regular, low-intensity physical activity, such as walking, gardening, and doing household chores by hand. While building and maintaining strength is important, movement is equally about mobility. Where intense workouts and exercise regimens become harder to maintain with age, integrating physical activity into daily life builds principles that ensure movement remains sustainable over the long term.
Beyond this, we’ve all heard how the body keeps score. Personally, mine likes to do this via pain in my jaw, neck, hips and ‘very big knots’ in my shoulder as my Thai masseuse likes to remind me. The antidote to this is not more cortisol-inducing activity, but rather slow, gentle movement.
Somatic movement shifts the focus from external appearance or specific goals to the inner experience. A way to listen to your body, release chronic muscle tension, and improve your mind-body connection through slow, intentional, and mindful movement. Walking, stretching, yoga, and pilates are all good examples, but any slow, gentle physical activity can become somatic with focused attention.
Step away from the treadmill.
With exercise out of the question for the next month or two post-op, I’ve had to (rather annoyingly) take my own advice and practice what I preach. Reduced to walking, stretching and household chores, it turns out that repotting the peace lily, putting up the Christmas tree, sweeping up after said tree and mashing potatoes can all contribute to maintaining movement and mobility.
In a world of Barry’s red room selfies, don’t forget to listen to your body and embrace natural movement too.
DO TRY THIS AT HOME: Close your loops
Another thing to file under: ‘how have I not realised this sooner’, I stumbled across this concept on Substack.
Based on the idea that mental clutter is more exhausting than physical work will ever be, Scott D. Clary claims the real reason you’re tired is your open loops.
The text you haven’t answered. The apology you owe. The decision you’re avoiding. The conversation you keep postponing. These ‘open loops’ continue to run through your mind, draining your energy.
I immediately identified with this. If I don’t capture an idea or to-do in the moment, my brain will continue to remind me of it, until I at least get it out of my head and somewhere where it won’t be forgotten. And recording it is just the beginning. Close your loops and watch your energy return.
Taking the above a step further, two good ways to avoid having open loops in the first place are the five-minute rule and single-tasking.
PONDER:
“You may fear the quiet times in your life, when your soul goes through a winter. However, it’s often those same times when the most profound and human work of all is being completed. Be still. Do nothing. It is both the quiet and the noise that writes the symphony, the blank canvas and the paint that makes the picture, the rest and the movement that gives you the wisdom, insight and clarity to press forward more boldly than ever before.” - Brianna Wiest, The Pivot Year
With the festive season in full swing, let’s make like the Swedes and keep the concept of ‘lagom’ top of mind.
In a decadent season, which demands more - whether that be shopping, food, champagne or social catch-ups - I hope you can carve out some space and time to enter the new year quietly. More in tune with what ‘enough’ looks like to you.
Consider this your permission slip to do (and be) less. After all, you are, and always will be, enough - just as you are.
SJ
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