Embracing evolution
The power of reflecting, reframing, and resetting for growth
For a long time, I bought into the concept that people don’t change. I’m not confident where this belief came from - the statement floats around like an old wives tale - but it seemed like a profound and safe assumption.
But, as is the nature of assumptions, rarely are they safe.
Late last year, I was doing a career inventory of sorts, which included articulating my strengths. While I had a relatively strong sense of what these were, when it recommended the VIA Character Strengths Survey, I couldn’t resist.
Turns out, I already had an account as I had completed the survey in 2020. With memory clearly not a strength for me, I reviewed my 2020 results and then decided to redo the survey anyway.
Spoiler alert: the results were not the same. Of the 24 character strengths assessed, only four featured in my top 10 results for both 2020 and 2024. While I wasn’t exactly thrilled with some of the ones that had dropped down the list (humour, hope, curiosity), I did feel the results accurately reflected my character then and now.
It’s hardly surprising we change. Not only is this the nature of evolution - a fact humans cannot escape - but, as the saying goes, the only constant in life is change. We change and evolve, our problems change and evolve, and our relationships change and evolve. The only choice we have is how we respond to these ongoing changes.
Ultimately, this mainly comes down to mindset. Do we cling to old habits and stay stuck in the ‘safety’ of our old ways (fixed mindset), or do we choose to embrace the opportunity to evolve by forging new paths (growth mindset)?
The good news is it is never too late to choose growth. In the words of William Carlos Williams “A new world is only a new mind”. A fitting topic as we embark on a new year, while the best time to start may have been January 1 (perhaps some years ago), the next best time is now.
Reflect on your journey so far
I just got back from a five-week trip to Australia and Singapore. While I was grateful for the time at home and to have (touch wood) skipped the worst of winter in the UK, I did miss the more subdued start to the year.
The colder weather encourages us to hibernate at home - perfect conditions for creating time and space to reflect. But it’s summer in Australia, and everyone is out and about making the most of socialising in the sunshine.
With February only days away, having struggled to find the headspace to plan my year, I’m trying not to allow my inner perfectionist to panic. After all, while a new year may present an ideal time to pause and reflect - there is no bad time to do this.
Reflection goes beyond thinking about the past, however. Proven to tap into the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for higher thinking, self-awareness, and intentional action, it can help us uncover inner narratives, reinforce lessons, and prepare for future challenges.
Acting as an internal compass to help highlight what worked and what didn’t, reflection allows us to review our journey so far, and use that knowledge to chart where we’re headed. The aim is not to dwell on the past, but to understand and celebrate it as the foundation for continued growth.
And while any reflection is good reflection, I wanted to share some tried and tested prompts I work with at the start of each year:
What did I achieve? What were the positive highlights from the past year?
What were my biggest disappointments?
What are the biggest themes from the past year?
What did I learn? How did I grow?
How am I limiting myself? What unhelpful behaviours and narratives are holding me back?
Which areas of my life am I not achieving what I want to?
What are my personal values?
What roles do I play in my life and which one is the major focus for the next year?
What do I need to let go of/leave behind?
What do I need to embrace/make space for this year?
Release old narratives
One of the most powerful parts of reflection is its ability to reveal inner narratives. These thoughts are often so ingrained that we treat them as facts, rarely stopping to question where they come from or if they are serving us.
Known as cognitive fusion, this occurs when we become overly influenced by a certain thought and treat it as an absolute truth. By latching onto thoughts, we allow them to become a much bigger part of our lives - letting them define us and our behaviours.
The reality is our thoughts are just thoughts. They don’t need to define us. We get to choose which ones are meaningful and which are not.
Recently, I heard a great story about George Clooney that stuck with me. Struggling to get work early in his career, Clooney kept going to auditions and not getting the part. Until one day he had a breakthrough. Realising that he was the solution to their problem - they needed an actor to start filming - he switched from a mindset of desperation to one of strength.
A fantastic example of flipping the script, it is only by becoming aware of our thoughts that we can identify narratives that no longer serve us and begin to reframe these limiting beliefs.
Reset with intention
While there’s nothing wrong with having goals, sometimes these specific, measurable milestones can be too rigid, creating pressure and leaving you feeling inadequate if you don’t achieve them. Intentions, on the other hand, offer a more flexible and sustainable way to approach growth.
Setting intentions impacts our mindset and behaviour by aligning our actions with our values and goals. Intentions act as a mental anchor, helping us to maintain focus and strengthening the neural pathways associated with that thought. This process makes it easier for the brain to recognise and act on opportunities that align with our intentions.
There are many ways to work with intentions, however, regardless of whether you’re setting them for the year, month, or day ahead, it’s crucial to start by identifying your core values. We need to understand what truly matters in order to set meaningful intentions that will motivate us.
The best intentions are clear, simple statements that make them easy to remember and act on. Wording matters too, these should be positive statements in the present tense. Starting with empowering “I” phrases, such as “I am” “I choose” “I intend”.
There’s a scene in Taylor Swift’s Miss Americana documentary, where she’s scrolling on her phone in the car and comes across an ‘unflattering’ photo. An event that would have previously sent her into a spiral of shame and self-loathing, “I caught myself yesterday starting to do it,” Swift says, “And I was like: Nope. We don’t do that anymore… we’re changing the channel in our brain and we’re not doing that anymore. That didn’t end us up in a good place.”
Intention, guideline, mantra - whatever you want to call it - that’s the power of these statements. They help snap us out of unhelpful thoughts and behaviours and keep us on track towards the more positive ones we are instating.
One final note on intentions, they prioritise progress over perfection. So if your day/month/year doesn’t quite go to plan, don’t beat yourself up, just use your intention to help steer you back in the right direction.
FAVOURITE RESOURCES / CURATED CLICKS:
As I’ve written about before, I am yet to come across a better way to approach my year than Your Best Year Yet (YBBY). The only book I’ve ever not returned, I started using it the same year I bought a one-way ticket to London. Many of the reflection prompts I shared above are covered in the YBBY framework.
In / Out lists - a more light-hearted, fun way to plan your year, by listing what is ‘in’ and ‘out’. There’s no wrong way to do this but I enjoyed Emma Gannon’s summary and used it as inspiration to create my own. Let me know if you’d like me to share what’s in and out for me in 2025.
Word of the year. I did this properly for the first time last year and enjoyed the clear, simple sense of direction it provided. Much like an intention, choosing a word for the year offers a constant reminder to help guide your decisions and continue moving towards what you want.
I’ve kicked off the past three years with the Daily Stoic New Year New You Challenge and can highly recommend signing up to receive their 21 days’ worth of prompts. But don’t take my word for it, the challenge was so popular this year, that they’ve re-opened it for February.
PONDER:
“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” — Abraham Maslow
I hope this instalment of Future You has sparked some inspiration. If so, please do share it with a friend or colleague who could also find it useful.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Let me know in the comments how you plan your year, what’s ‘in’ or ‘out’, or your chosen word/intention for 2025.
Best,
SJ