Edition 3
Identity, Atomic Habits, the art of letting go, the app you need to download and a new word for your vocab
Guess who’s back, back again.
No not Shady, Future You the trifecta (3rd) edition. Feel free to still tell a friend though…
In October I focused on the concept of identity. Having finally read James Clear’s Atomic Habits, I realised how easy it can be to lose sight of who you are at the core of your being. There’s a great diagram from one of my all-time favourite books, Your Best Year Yet, which demonstrates the different ‘layers’ we have. At the centre is who we are, our values, heart and soul. Over time this inner strength can become hidden beneath a layer of fear, anxiety and doubt as well as years of habitual behaviours. The outermost layer is who we pretend to be - the bravado and facade we put up to mask the self-doubt and fear. It’s a vicious cycle that leads us into the trap of focusing more on seeking approval from others than behaviours that are consistent with our beliefs and values.
By getting back in touch with who we are at our core - our inherent strength and power - it is much easier to make changes and stop limiting ourselves. The good news is one of the best ways to do this is to just keep showing up. An acronym I like to remind myself when times get tough, JKSU goes hand in hand with taking the next right step when things feel overwhelming. I’ve always taken solace in breaking things down to the right next step or the fact that I just have to show up and do my best. Essentially, it all boils down to getting those runs on the board and votes of confidence for the identity you want to embody.
To our core selves, inherent strength and power…perhaps the right next step is waiting for you in this month’s Future You…
READ: Atomic Habits
James Clear’s bestselling book has been on my reading list for years. When it comes to habits, Atomic Habits is usually mentioned in the same sentence. It was not until I picked it up in Daunt Books and began to read the introduction that I knew I couldn’t put it down. Opening with the powerful story about Clear’s horrific accident in high school and how he used habits to rebuild his life, he is a walking example of his work.
It would be impossible to try and summarise Atomic Habits in a few short paragraphs, which is why I won’t attempt it. Instead, I’ll share three key takeaways that have changed my thinking on habits.
Clear uncovers that one of the key components to forming a habit is to switch the focus from what you want to achieve, to who you wish to become. Identity-based habits are the deepest level of behavioural change, concerned with your beliefs, self-image and judgements about yourself and others. Based on the fact that it’s hard to change your habits if you never change your underlying beliefs - the more pride you have in a particular aspect of your identity, the more motivated you’ll be to maintain the habits associated with it.
Building on this, another revelation for me was that there is no magic number until a habit becomes ingrained. You may have heard that it takes 21 or 30 days to build a habit but Clear shatters that notion, explaining that the real question is not how long does it take to build a new habit, but how many does it take - that is how many repetitions are required to make a habit automatic? It’s the frequency that makes the difference. In other words, just show up and get those runs on the board.
And when it comes to showing up, which, by the way, helps to strengthen the new identity you are building, it all comes down to a crucial decisive moment. A fork in the road when you decide between staying awake at 6am or going back to bed, cooking or ordering food for dinner. While small in themselves, the difference between a good or bad day is often a few productive and healthy choices made at decisive moments. This brings us to the two-minute rule: when you start a new habit, it should take less than two minutes to do. To run a marathon, start by putting on your running shoes. To write a book, write one sentence. The point is to master the habit of showing up. As they say, you have to start somewhere. Or perhaps more encouragingly, from little things big things grow.
DOWNLOAD: Grammarly
I am not a fan of an app for app’s sake, they really need to deliver tangible value to earn their place on my home screen/desktop. Rest assured that I won’t be recommending anything that isn’t worth your time.
Grammarly is well worth everyone’s time. An online writing assistant, Grammarly uses AI to review spelling, grammar, punctuation, clarity, engagement, and delivery mistakes in text, before automatically correcting or suggesting an appropriate replacement. Yes, I have heard of spell check, but the key difference here is Grammarly does this across all your software programs. With spelling mistakes and poor grammar a pet hate for me, I cannot tell you what a game changer it has been to have Grammarly helping to review my emails, LinkedIn posts and work in Canva and Google Docs. I would go so far as to argue it’s better than the built-in spelling and grammar feature in Google Docs.
The best part? It’s free. While there is a premium version, I have been using the free one which offers spelling, grammar and punctuation. It’s time to break up with spell check and level up to Grammarly.
DO TRY THIS AT HOME: Let it go
One of my three guidelines for this year was to take a leaf out of Elsa from Frozen's book and stop holding onto things that no longer serve me, i.e. Let it go.
As anyone who has ever tried to let go of a negative feeling, challenging past situation or unhealthy habit will already know, this is so much easier said than done. One of the more interesting facts I have learnt in the past year is "an emotion like anger that's an automatic response lasts just ninety seconds from the moment it's triggered until it runs its course. One and a half minutes, that's all. When it lasts any longer, which it usually does, it's because we've chosen to rekindle it.” - Pema Chodron
Far from a process you complete once, the best I have managed when it comes to letting go of unhelpful narratives, emotions, habits and the past, has been to keep coming back to this guideline as a continual reminder.
I was reminded again recently during my morning Daily Calm meditation. Titled Learn the art of letting go, Tamara Levitt explained how a shift in season can deeply support the process of release. Like the leaves that are slowly shed during Autumn, we might be inspired to let go of beliefs that no longer serve us.
Rather than a sense of loss, as we let go of what hasn't been working, we create room for what will. Out with the old, in with the new. What are you ready to let go of?
WATCH: The Flamboyance of the Flamingos
I first came across Yinka Ilori’s work when he transformed a community laundromat in Bethnal Green into the Launderette of Dreams in partnership with Lego. Asking children from his former primary school how they would rebuild the space, he used over 200,000 Lego bricks to gamify the machines and transform the space into an interactive play experience in his bold and colourful signature style.
In a similar fashion to the Launderette of Dreams, Ilori’s eye-popping designs stand out all over the world from Berlin to Miami. In London, he has partnered with many of the councils to transform mundane or unwelcoming spaces into uplifting, inspiring areas that foster a sense of safety, happiness and well-being such as Happy Street, and his murals in Shoreditch, all designed to raise morale during the pandemic.
At the heart of Ilori’s work is his belief that design is for everyone. By focusing on public spaces, he brings design out of galleries and into the world, creating for “people who don’t get access to art”. Ilori’s work is a shining example of maximising your skills to add value for others and being a force for good.
With his exhibition currently showing at the Design Museum in London, one of my highlights was this video of Ilori talking to a class about The Flamboyance of Flamingos project where he repurposed parts of an out-of-use playground in the Borough of Barking and Dagenham. While the tendency can be to talk down to children, Ilori speaks to them with a sense of great respect, demonstrating the inclusive attitude that runs through all of his work.
WORD OF THE MONTH: Phygital
There is comfort in the fact that most things in life come full circle. Just when you thought everything was digital, Deliveroo has gone and opened its first physical store on Oxford Street. I must admit I had to look up the term ‘Phygital’ (physical plus digital) which refers to blending digital experiences with physical ones. If you didn’t know, now you know.
PONDER:
"There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do." - Freya Stark
I’ve borrowed the quote from James Clear’s 3-2-1 Thursday newsletter which lives up to its claim to be the most wisdom per word of any newsletter on the web. See for yourself here.
That’s all for this month. I hope you found this instalment engaging, insightful or perhaps, both. If so, why not share it with a friend or colleague who could also find it useful?
And if you read, download, watch or try this at home, please share your thoughts on this month’s topics - or let me know what you’re letting go of in the comments below.
Best,
SJ