Less than a week out from Christmas, it feels like 2023 has flown by. Time is deceptive like that. When things are challenging it often feels like it stalls to a glacial pace, stretching out with no end in sight. With the good times flashing by in the blink of an eye. But the only truth about time is that nothing lasts forever, good or bad. The only constant is change.
Over the last six months, I have been contemplating impermanence. While many of us tend to save these reflections for birthdays or the end of the year, there’s much to be said for keeping this reality front of mind.
You don’t do yourself any favours by sticking your head in the sand when it comes to the fragility of life. Quite the opposite, you only ensure that you don’t make the most of the precious time you do have, by fully appreciating how limited it could be. In order to prioritise, we must realise the constraints we face.
There’s something deeply reassuring about impermanence. Far from the anxiety often associated with uncertainty, in Buddhism, accepting impermanence is associated with liberation - both from trialling times and because it opens us up to a world of endless possibilities.
The Stoics refer to it as Memento Mori, literally meaning ‘Remember you must die’. The Daily Stoic dedicates December to meditations on Mortality, reminding us that our time on earth is limited. At first, this may seem morbid, but it’s a valuable way to reflect on the past year, put things in perspective, and reset for the new year.
While December often equals calendars crammed full of social commitments, I encourage you to set aside some space for reflection as well. 2024 and future you will both be better for it.
READ: Wherever You Go, There You Are
My Mum gifted me this book by Jon Kabat-Zinn, on the last day of her most recent UK trip. She had bought it to read while travelling, at some point realising it seemed familiar because she already had it at home!
Most of us ‘know’ that the only time we have is the present - with countless books and quotes ‘that’s why they call it a gift’ to remind us. But being present is a whole other ball game.
While Eckhart Tolle hammers home the point in his bestselling book The Power of Now, which in my (unpopular) opinion he arguably did not need 200 pages for, Jon Kabat-Zinn gently guides you through suggestions for a more mindful life.
Wherever You Go, There You Are transforms what can be a challenging concept for many, into easily digestible techniques to try. Divided into three sections, starting with the present moment, the practice of meditation itself and finishing with the spirit of mindfulness, he demonstrates that mindfulness, both as a formal practice and a way of being, is essential to awareness and living life to the fullest.
I love books that lend themselves to being read in small, daily increments, which is exactly what Jon Kabat-Zinn has created. The perfect daily reminder of the impermanence of life, and the subsequent importance of being present, this is a bedside table-worthy book.
The title itself says it all, but I’ll leave you with one of my key takeaways:
The Bloom of the Present Moment, This Is It
TRY: Reminding yourself from time to time: “This is it.” See if there is anything at all that it cannot be applied to. Remind yourself that acceptance of the present moment has nothing to do with resignation in the face of what is happening. It simply means a clear acknowledgement that what is happening is happening. Acceptance doesn’t tell you what to do. What happens next, what you choose to do, that has to come out of your understanding of this moment. You might try acting out of a deep knowing of “This is it.” Does it influence how you choose to proceed or respond? Is it possible for you to contemplate that in a very real way, this may actually be the best season, the best moment of your life? If that was so, what would it mean for you?
DO TRY THIS AT HOME: The 90-second rule
Patience is in short supply this time of year, with many of us really feeling the need for a break. And while the holiday season is often presented as ‘the most wonderful time of the year’ for many of us it brings its own set of challenges and stress. Organising gifts, hosting, and being around family - while these are all fortunate problems to have, if we’re not careful they can feel fraught and overwhelming.
Along with gratitude (for a good dose of perspective), one of my guidelines this year was ‘eine pause’. Or, in English, a pause. Born out of a desire to respond rather than react, and ultimately, protect my peace, it’s amazing how powerful pausing can be.
And, as I shared last year, the science supports this "An emotion like anger that's an automatic response lasts just ninety seconds from the moment it's triggered until it runs its course. One and a half minutes, that's all. When it lasts any longer, which it usually does, it's because we've chosen to rekindle it.” - Pema Chodron
Whether it’s that last-minute work request, the Christmas shopping crowds or a snide remark from an in-law, I can vouch for taking a deep breath and letting that reaction go so you can respond in a more graceful and useful way. While it may sound simple, I am yet to regret taking the time to choose a better response.
WATCH: 50 Short Rules for Life
Stoicism has changed my life.
No dramatic turn of events or sudden epiphanies, but in the way that stoicism is intended - a quiet commitment to showing up each day and doing your best. As I wrote about in an earlier edition of Future You, if I had to pick one book (nightmare) to read for the rest of my life, it would be The Daily Stoic - to continue the strongest habit I have made over the last 10+ years - starting each day with a quote and lesson from the Stoics.
By nature, Stoicism is not something to preach about, its power is in walking the walk - being the best version of yourself, regardless of what is happening in the world around you, or what life throws at you. For the Stoics, the highest good is virtue - specifically wisdom, courage, temperance and justice. Regardless of your personal beliefs or religion, it is hard to dispute these four cardinal virtues.
No conversation on Stoicism would be complete without Ryan Holiday, who has made it his mission to translate the timeless wisdom of the Stoics, distilling it in a relevant, relatable way for modern life. With a following of over 300,000, it just goes to show, Stoicism has something for everyone.
One of my goals this year was to deepen my knowledge of the Stoics. So when the email for the Stoicism 101 course landed in my inbox, I didn’t hesitate. Over the next two weeks in November, I went back to basics. Learning how Stoicism came to be, its founding members, what made them great, and how we understand their wisdom to integrate this into our lives.
The course opened with this video, which struck me as a great resource to share as we go into 2024.
I highly recommend signing up for The Daily Stoic emails, and Ryan Holiday’s series of books on Stoicism: The Obstacle is the Way, Ego is the Enemy, Stillness is the Key and Discipline is Destiny. And, the New Year, New You Challenge has just launched - it was a great way to kick off this year and how I intend to start 2024 too.
HOLIDAY READING:
I started Future You during a career break. Yes, I was job-hunting and interviewing at the time but I still had the luxury of no set schedule. Fast forward to just over a year in my job and I’m proud to say I’ve kept it up. People often say starting is the hardest part. I would argue it’s consistency. In the beginning, you have energy, but what keeps you going when that wanes?
Creating Future You is still a highlight for me each month. While I didn’t achieve a perfect year of publishing 12 times, and sometimes we were late to the party, it’s important to take a moment to be proud of what you did achieve. With that in mind, in case you missed any, here is a summary of the topics I wrote about this year, which I daresay could make for some timely holiday reading:
Planning for your best year yet, an anti-overwhelm guide
Discipline deserves a rebrand, the truth about temperance
The power of accountability
Perspective is everything
The importance of focus and being present
Embracing the process and creativity
Identity. *Crisis not included
Connection, community and the paradox of loneliness
Zero expectations and the real meaning of priority and rest
PONDER:
“The bad news is nothing lasts forever. The good news is nothing lasts forever.” - J. Cole
That’s it for this year. I hope the 10 instalments of Future You have sparked some inspiration. If so, please do share it with a friend or colleague who could also find it useful.
Over the break I’ll be rethinking the format for 2024 and how I deliver these curated ideas each month in this TLDR (too long didn’t read) world we live in. If you have any feedback or thoughts on how you’d like to see Future You evolve or any recommended resources for going into the new year I’d love to hear them in the comments below.
Best,
SJ