In 2020 my mum stepped down from her role as publisher for the lifestyle website she and my dad had acquired and built up over 20+ years. A significant change in her life, I happened to be home at the time (thank you Coronavirus) and did my best to offer moral support across many coffees and beach walks (both still legal) as she worked her way through what came next. As many of us have come to realise, much of our identity is tied up in work. And it can be hard when that is suddenly gone to find our way back to who we are and how we add value. Before I flew back to the UK, as a parting gift, I bought her a forest green leather notebook with the words Future Kaye embossed in silver across the front.
Two years on, I find myself in that same space. Amid a self-imposed career break, taking time to reflect on who I am and how I want to move forward with meaning. Far from flights to Europe every week (see the cost of fuel and inflation), freedom can be a daunting reality full of uncertainty and overwhelming possibilities. Amidst this flux, the endless options and empty days, I have found purpose and routine in my desire to be the best possible version of myself. Not for anyone else but myself. For me, this is the meaning of life: to be the best I can be, to live up to my full potential with purpose and without regrets.
Our world is screaming out for better solutions and for that it needs more people to be the best they can be - to do their best work and share their talents with the world. Join me on this journey of connecting with your best self, of creating a better tomorrow for both ourselves and those we inspire along the way. It may be never-ending but it sure beats a life half-lived. Here’s to you and I, but better.
READ: Four Thousand Weeks
I must admit I was hesitant to buy this book. Having heard about it a few times, I did exactly what you’re not supposed to do and judged it by its cover. No, not the Sunday Times Bestseller part, rather, to me, the bench represented some morbidly depressing scene where you might find yourself on the verge of an emotional breakdown or if someone you loved had died.
I was wrong. Curiosity getting the better of me (and Hatchards working its 225-year-old magic) in case I needed any more encouragement, as I paid, the sales assistant told me it was amazing. He was not wrong. If 30 earmarked pages aren’t enough to go by - including the entire last chapter - it is probably the best book I have read in the past year.
Burkeman takes a topic that has been done to death - time management - and turns it on its head. Looking at the origins of time, he explores how we have gotten to where we are today, before starting to explain why we need to look at time management or rather, life, from an entirely different perspective.
As someone who felt very ‘seen’ by the confessions of a productivity geek revelation about scheduling the whole day in 15-minute blocks (spoiler alert: it doesn’t work), the book was the wake-up call I needed to realise and confront the real question when it comes to time - how best to use our 4,000 weeks (minus those already elapsed).
10/10 - a must-read for anyone living on this planet. Bonus points for being written in a humorous, inclusive and engaging way with chapters easily digestible one day at a time (if you can stop at that).
WATCH: The Happiest Guy in the World
Speaking of freedom and being careful what you wish for, Chapter 12 of Four Thousand Weeks looks at the pursuit of the digital nomad lifestyle. Highly topical given the disruption to the traditional 9-5 work week, Burkeman explores the reality that freedom or time off isn’t necessarily as enjoyable if you’re forced to experience it on your own.
To illustrate this point he uses the example of Mario Salcedo, A Cuban American financial consultant who has continuously lived on Royal Caribbean International cruise ships since 2000 aside from about 15 days on land a year and a 15-month gap during the COVID-19 pandemic. Known as ‘Super Mario’ he has eliminated all non-value-added activities (cleaning, laundry, garbage) telling filmmaker Lance Oppenheim he has “all the time in the world to enjoy what I like to do”.
Seemingly, what he likes to do is coordinate his spreadsheet of constant cruises with other sea-tizens, smoke, sit around on his laptop and proclaim to anyone who’ll listen how he’s “probably the happiest guy in the world!”
Aside from the fact most genuinely happy people don’t feel the need to go around telling this to strangers, Burkeman points out that he has misunderstood the value of time. Far from a resource that is more valuable to you the more of it you have, time derives its value from how many other people also have access to it and how coordinated this is.
You can watch the 10-minute documentary on Vimeo. Cue Eric Carmen’s All By Myself.
IMPLEMENT: Pay-it-forward
The other Friday, after submitting myself to torture at 7:10 am, also known as the treadmill section of a Barry’s class, I decided I deserved a coffee (read: needed one to make it home). Visiting a new cafe that has been on my Google Want to Go list, I stopped by Second Shot Coffee in Lisson Grove. On the window, I saw the ‘Second Shot’ option where, in addition to your single-origin coffee, you could gift a second shot to a person affected by homelessness.
Hardly a new concept, there is something to be said for humanising helping others in this way. People want to understand how they are helping, not just in the sense of where their money is going, but also from a tangible perspective - to understand the difference it will make.
Thinking about how much I love coffee, I was happy to be able to give that same experience to someone else. It also adds an element of connection - this person isn’t merely a charity case - they are a fellow human being who enjoys coffee.
I will never forget when Oxfam created its range of ‘Oxfam Unwrapped’ cards one Christmas. Rather than just donating money you were now purchasing something tangible. Complete with clever puns, there were options for all budgets from a Life-changing Loo to a Fantastic Farmyard. An outstanding example of creativity, suddenly the impersonal and uninspired charity donation was engaging, meaningful and told a real story of how it would make a difference - connecting the recipient to those the money would help.
The pay-it-forward model is genius in its simplicity and a great way for brands to engage their community to give back and support those in need. How can your brand pay it forward?
CREATE: Taste the rainbow
For Easter, we went to California for a two-week road trip. The best meal I ate was a salad. I kid you not. Heading north from San Diego to LA we stopped at a place called Farmhouse at Roger's Gardens for a very late lunch. I’m not usually one for salads - they’ve always seemed a little sad to me and I much prefer warm food over cold - however, the prawns on this one caught my eye.
Hands down the best salad I’ve ever had. So much so, I recently recreated it at home. Perfect for summer, it looks and tastes much more impressive than the short time it takes to make (my ideal cooking style).
Ingredients (serves 2)
Salad
250g / 12 fresh prawns (peeled without tails)
1 small head butter lettuce
1 large grapefruit
1 blood orange
1 mandarin (I hate mandarin so feel free to substitute another citrus fruit or increase blood oranges to 2)
1 avocado
¼ cup pinenuts
Salt & pepper
Dried parsley
Oil for cooking (certain olive oil or coconut oil)
Dressing
⅛ cup apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp EVOO (Extra Virgin Olive Oil)
1 tbsp honey
Salt & pepper to taste
Method
Remove the core from the butter lettuce, wash, rinse, and tear the leaves into large pieces. Arrange on a large serving plate or shallow bowl and sprinkle with salt.
Cut up the grapefruit, blood orange and any other chosen citrus, by halving lengthwise and each half cut into 4 cross-cut slices. Use a knife to remove the skin and any white pith. Arrange on top of the lettuce.
Cut the avocado in half (pray you have a good one), remove the pip and slice long ways. Scoop out of the skin and fan on top of the citrus. *If it all turns to sh*t, pivot and spread slices evenly across citrus.
Place a small pan over medium-low heat and add the pinenuts. Cook them, stirring occasionally or tossing the skillet, until they're golden brown and smell quite nutty. Sprinkle over the salad.
Make the dressing by combining the ACV, EVOO and honey and adding a pinch of salt and pepper. Set aside.
Place a frying pan on medium-high heat and add a dash of your cooking oil. Season the prawns with salt and pepper and sprinkle some dried parsley over them (you can add chilli flakes if you like - the complaints in my house prohibit this). Place in the hot frying pan and add a squeeze of lemon across the whole pan before turning regularly until golden on both sides.
Remove from the heat and spread over the salad. Drizzle any remaining juice from the pan over the salad too.
Finish by drizzling the dressing you prepared earlier over the salad and serve immediately.
Try not to fight over the prawns. Guten apetit!
DO TRY THIS AT HOME: 16Personalities
First introduced when I studied Entrepreneurship at the ripe old age of 18, I have done many personality tests in my time - Myers-Briggs, HIGH5, True Colours - you name it, I’ve probably done it. The results are always interesting, after all, there is no downside to knowing yourself. Recently, I came across the 16Personalities test. Thinking, what’s one more test, I committed to the ‘less than 10 minutes' it promised to take. Half an hour later I was still completely absorbed in reading my Defender profile - I had never felt so seen in my life.
Using the acronym format introduced by Myers-Briggs, the NERIS® model adds an extra letter to accommodate five rather than four scales. I’ll stick to letting them explain the theory however, the key takeaway here is that it’s the most scarily accurate one I’ve ever done. When I brought it up at a baby shower recently (my main contribution to the conversation) multiple others around the table commented on its incredible accuracy - and then there are the reviews - shame for Ashley who thought he was ‘the only one of his kind’.
I won’t continue to bang on about it, but I do highly recommend you give it a go. It’s free, freakishly accurate and will at least make you feel like someone understands you other than your pet!
PONDER:
“Come with me, darling. Spare him a life half lived, a marriage of convenience. More importantly, spare yourself. Seize this thing that is true, and real, and infinite. Yes, it is scary. But I believe living a lie is worse. We could be happy. So happy.” - Anthony O’Hare, The Last Letter from your Lover
Thanks for tuning in to this month’s Future You. As a Defender (ISFJ-T) with a strategy of constant improvement, it seems fitting to be sharing this journey. I hope you found this instalment insightful - if you did, why not share it with a friend or colleague who could also find it useful?
And if you read, watch, create or try this at home, please share your thoughts on this month’s topics - or let me know your 16Personalities type in the comments below.
Best,
SJ